What to do when you feel like harming yourself

Identify your feelings.

Ask yourself the following questions to help you to identify the negative feelings or situations that lead to the desire to self-harm:

  • What was going on in my life when I first began to hurt myself? 
  • How do I feel just before I want to hurt myself? 
  • What are my habits and routines? Am I always in the same place or with a particular person when I get the urge to hurt myself? 
  • Do I always feel the same emotion when I get the urge to hurt myself? 
  • How can I better deal with the situations that trigger me? You may want to keep a log or diary to track your feelings at different times so that you can better answer these questions.

I want to stop self-harming but I still have urges. What do I do instead? 

Distract yourself or use a different coping skill to replace self-harm. Many people find that if they can delay an urge to self-harm even by minutes, that this can be enough to make the urge fade away. 

So, what is leading to you feeling like you want to harm yourself?

What to do when you’re:

  • Squeeze ice.
  • Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at. Cut and tear it instead of yourself.
  • Rip up an old newspaper or phone book. 
  • Make clay models and cut or smash them. 
  • Throw ice into the bathtub or against a brick wall hard enough to shatter it. 
  • Do something that will give you a sharp sensation, like eating lemon.
  • Dance. 
  • Clean. 
  • Exercise. 
  • Bang pots and pans. 
  • Stomp around in heavy shoes. 
  • Play handball or tennis.

  • Do something slow and soothing.
  • Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles.
  • Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book.
  • Hug a loved one or stuffed animal.
  • Play with a pet.
  • Make a list of things that make you happy.
  • Do something nice for someone else.
  • Light sweet-smelling incense.
  • Listen to soothing music.
  • Go outside, take a walk. Change up the environment you’re in.
  • Smooth nice body lotion into the parts of yourself you want to hurt.
  • Call a friend and just talk about things that you like.
  • Make a tray of special treats.
  • Watch TV or read.
  • Visit a friend

  • Squeeze or chew ice.
  • Interact with other people.
  • Put a finger into a frozen food (like ice cream).
  • Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root.
  • Rub liniment (something minty) under your nose.
  • List the many uses for a random object. (For example, what are all the things you can do with a twist-tie?)
  • Take a cold bath or shower.
  • Stomp your feet on the ground.
  • Focus on how it feels to breathe. Notice the way your chest and stomach move with each breath.

  • Do a task that requires focus and concentration.
  • Eat a raisin (or other textured food) mindfully. Notice how it looks and feels. Try to describe the texture. How does it smell? Chew slowly, noticing how the texture and even the taste of it changes as you chew it.
  • Take a grape and try to peel it in your mouth.
  • Choose an object in the room. Examine it carefully and then write as detailed a description of it as you can.
  • Choose a random object, like a twist-tie, and try to list 30 different uses for it.
  • Pick a subject and research it on the web.

  • List as many good things about yourself as you can.
  • Read something good that someone has written about you.
  • Talk to someone that cares about you.
  • Do something nice for someone else.
  • Remember when you’ve done something good.
  • Think about why you feel guilty and how you might be able to change it.

Other General Distraction and Replacement Techniques

Reach Out to Others

  • Call or text a friend. 
  • Call 602-248-8336 anytime between 3pm-9pm to talk to a trained peer counselor 
  • Go out and be around people. 

 

Express Yourself 

  • Write down your feelings in a diary. 
  • Cry – crying is a healthy and normal way to express your sadness or frustration. 
  • Draw or color. 
  • Play a game. 
  • Listen to music. 
  • Read. 
  • Take a shower. 
  • Open a dictionary and learn new words. 
  • Do homework. 
  • Cook. 
  • Dig in the garden. 
  • Clean. 
  • Watch a feel-good movie.

 

Do Something Mindful 

  • Count down slowly from 10 to 0. 
  • Breathe slowly, in through the nose and out through the mouth. 
  • Focus on objects around you and think about how they look, sound, smell, taste and feel. 
  • Do yoga. 
  • Meditate. 
  • Learn some breathing exercises to aid relaxation. 
  • Concentrate on something that makes you happy: good friends, good times, laughter, etc. 

 

Release Your Frustrations

  • Throw ice cubes at a brick wall. 
  • Throw eggs in the shower. 
  • Rip apart an old phone book. 
  • Throw darts. 
  • Punch pillows. 
  • Scream into a pillow. 
  • Yell or sing at the top of your lungs. 
  • Exercise.

 

If you still feel the urge to self-harm you might try: 

  • Putting stickers on the parts of your body you want to hurt. 
  • Color heavily on paper with a colored pencil.
  • Drawing on yourself with a red felt-tip pen. 
  • Holding ice tightly in your hand.

Remember, you aren’t alone in this.

Whenever you’re ready, teen peer counselors are here to listen and help. Call 24/7 or text 12-9pm weekdays/3-9pm weekends at 602-248-8336.